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Notes:
Think about yourself for a moment; pretend your brain is failing, that you've been infected with mad cow disease and everyone is muttering to each other about how you just don't have what it takes any more. How do you feel about this? How do you hope they discuss it with you?
If ever we need to be kind, gentle, and tender, it's in situation like this. It's not enough to use a gentle voice and diplomatic words; we need to actually show genuine concern and friendship by taking excessive time to let the affected person talk about how their life is going, to feel them out in general, before asking the questions that will lead them to think introspectively about their capacity.
Regardless, the worst kind of insult is for someone to hint to us that we've become incompetent. The normal response, unless we've been developing self doubt, is indignation. Yet the very person who will need to be approached is the one who has not been given to self doubt.
So we must discipline ourselves to endure possible loss of friendship, rejection, and anger, and to submit to it patiently. Yes, we might lose a friend; all the more reason to be compassionate and gentle in approach.